Mom please think something out of the box!

Me and my friend Khushboo were sitting in the metro and were congratulating each other in successfully getting a comfortable seat at the Central secretariat station. Actually we boarded the train from the menace station of Rajiv Chowk. It was difficult to get a seat in the overflowing crowd, but we played it smart and carefully positioned ourselves in front of middle aged aunties wearing saaris and carrying jute bags. They are different looking women whom you can relate to the nineties. Mostly government servants, they usually get down at CS or Udyog Bhawan.  As soon as they left, we conquered. That’s when we started talking about this.

It was about the obsession of dabbas (boxes and containers) a middle class mother has. She will remember the color, the size and the basic property of the containers that she allots to the members of the family while putting lunch in it. The danger is that she’ll check it whenever you come back from office. The moment you put your tiffin or dabba on the sink she’ll check it from the corner of her eyes whether her treasure is safe and sound. And once you lose it, she loses her temper too. For instance, a long time back, I misplaced a tumbler and till today the word tumbler is the igniting element of her anger.

Recently we got a microwave for our home. As soon as I came back from office, my mother diverted all her conversation from the microwave to the free dabbas with it. Once I was confused why she likes to order rather than going out to eat. I hope you already guessed her dabba fetish makes her do that. So the order comes in the plastic boxes that can be used for at least a month. Khushboo told another interesting behavior straight from her home. Her mother went to her aunt’s place for keertan. When she returned she had a big smile on her face and that made her wonder really hard. She followed her mom to the kitchen and there she saw her mom taking out four big dabbas full of prashaad! What a delight for her sweet mom who thought the idea of the aunt to serve prashaad in the daba was the best thing she has ever given to her. Wow!

So the train of such moments was right on track and we sounded much better than the lousy announcements.  One jargon literally applies over here that is, “Mom please think something out of the box!” Well every household has a different dabba story. We discussed many more on our way to the last station. The dabbas really served a good laugh to us and pleased the people overhearing us. 

Metro ritual 7

Beware of people who are shorter to you or have a lot of bags in their hands. They might look innocent but they can poke or molest (whatever suits the situation) you with their bags and elbows. 


So remember there is one more thing to mind other than legs and hands in metro and that is you sweet ass.

Issued in public interest.

Probably a bet!

The metro to Huda city centre was once crowded like anything. I left early that day as I was in a missile mood. Actually I m pointing to that day in everyone’s life when they want to start early and put their whole heart to their work. So that day was an exceptional day in my life. I was tired and I had no seat to sit and a place to stand. For a person who has to hear metro’s announcement 72 times a day sitting at least for half way to have some peace in life is important.

This train was doing no good to my schedule. It took five minutes almost at every station and was making me late and laid back at the same time. The enthusiasm was diminishing as I was approaching my destination. I turned on the volume to the max to make me aloof from the chaos. As the train stopped at Sultanpur, I closed my eyes thinking that again it is just another long halt. Suddenly I opened my eyes and saw that there are only few left in the metro. I was surprised. I thought I dozed off, so I checked the station. It was to my surprise Sultanpur. Then I noticed a girl making a weird face and pointing her fingers. I thought she has lost it, but then I realized, “Oh my God there is some announcement being played!” I took out my headphones and heard a squeaky voice of the Metro driver saying, “This train terminates at Sultanpur”

I was shooting with anger as this stupid train made me so late and then this announcement was the cherry on the top. In seconds the metro was empty. But I was still fighting with my lazy head to start moving out. Suddenly the metro guy made another announcement. This announcement made me and others to conspire to murder the great fellow making the announcement. So the announcement was, “Due to a technical fault I made a wrong announcement. Please get in as this metro will go to HUDA City centre.” This definitely raised eyebrows and everybody got in and took their seats. It was a moment when everybody started abusing together. Courtesy goes to the metro driver’s vocal chords which made the technically wrong announcement in the metro. I mean how can he say that? Is he a robot?

But then I announced in the metro like Mr. Sherlock Holmes unraveling the mystery behind the stolen treasure or something like that. What I said was the probability of a bet between Mr. Driver and his friend. A bet to make all the people hop out of metro and board them in somehow. And Voila! The driver was successful. So technically he made a fool of everyone and nobody had anything to say. With great metro come great responsibilities and sometimes great bets too. People did agreed with me, some actually smirked silently as if they were planning to quit their job and join Delhi Metro as a driver. 

Metro ritual 6

A fat fact!
it's difficult to judge a pregnant lady and a fat female in the metro...you never know you stand up to give a seat to a fat blob instead of the one in the need..and feel that you are done with your good deed of the day!

Metro Ritual 5

Weekend the Metro works a bit slow. I thought it was because of the lazy weather but then I recalled that it has been happening for some other reason.

Weekend the metro is boarded maximum by people with luggage. These people travel only when there is an extended holiday or something. With so many luggages to handle, they usually forget where they have kept their token or card. They’ll keep putting their token at the wrong side and will drop their luggage right in between the entry gate which will put them between the automatic block molesting them from both the sides. So help these wanderers or confused souls and guide them and save some time in your Metro travel. You never know you might get a free achaar ka dabba or Gujrati thepla as a helping gift as you hold the heavy cumbersome bag of the old lady or tau.

Metro Ritual 4

Men purposely standing right in the middle of the general coach and the ladies coach are usually considered as desperate.

Metro Rituals 1-3

1. · Every kid is fascinated by the poles in the metro. For them they are like swings and metro is like a playground. They’ll keep running from one end to another until and unless you get hypnotized.
2. · People going to Gurgaon in Metro look different than others especially during office timings. They’ll have laptops and will flaunt their company’s access cards. Everyone will get to know what meetings they are going to attend that day or the names of the people in the office.
3. · I must say people love following Buddhism here especially when they are waiting for the train. What I mean here is that they’ll always be following the so called ‘middle path’ and stand there even when the announcement says to keep that space empty for the passengers coming out of Metro.

Jhansi Ki Rani in Metro

I recently met a Jhansi ki Rani in Metro. Must say she was totally taking a toll of the men who entered the ladies compartment. The four bogies Metro is really something which creates confusion inside men. But isn’t it a small thing to realize that the point of confusion can be worked out easily. Jhansi ki Rani showed no mercy on these petty men. She fought with them until and unless they surrendered and left the bogie. One of the guy said, “Arre madam, we are not causing any trouble to any female here!” and the mighty lady looked at him fiercely and her reply caused a long pause in the Metro premises. She said, “You are not causing trouble here but we have been suffering since centuries, just because of you guys! This is our right and we know how to get at least this one!” The moment she completed the dialogue all the men left the compartment silently looking down in shame. I paid my tribute to this Jhansi ki Rani along with others by passing a confident smile as the guys were moving out of the compartment. Two three were still there because they didn’t understand whatever she said as it was in English. Sometimes I think we can have real life subtitles running especially in such situations.

Fake in the Fog

Winters in metro are not really friendly I can see and even smell, people who are lazy to take bath in the chilly weather of Delhi. But what's fancy about winters is that you see a lot of people who have this crazy line of winter clothings. With the fake looking Zara to Puma, people wear anything possible which has a tag. But the matter of fact still remains is why these people never realise that if you want to ever buy such stuff, you should see at least the spelling of the brand. I recently saw a female wearing PUMA with a horse printed on it. This is really what you call iscross breeding or you can say cross branding.

And dude what's the matter with those sparkling boots. I bet they have the same quality fur which those fancy purse have which people used to buy from melas for twenty bucks. I really don't want to comment on affordability over here, but the taste of the people. I recently saw this female who was walking with her boots tip tapping loudly in the metro. Everybody was looking at her. the best part was when they saw her fancy black sparkling boots, everyone was laughing at her. One prompltly said, "Who is she going to kill with those on?" and I replied "Yes" without giving any pause to the situation.